Continued from a previous post.
Over these past several days I have found myself in a here but not here state-of-mind, but interestingly enough focused, if that makes sense. Talking with people, friends, clients, family, creating – getting things done actually, catching up from a week or so off.
But yet during all this time there are more moments than not that my mind wanders and replays bits and pieces of what happened to Max. The explosion – tackling Max – speeding down Mt Washington looking at Ana in the rear view mirror. She was scared, she didn’t say a word as we were racing to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house, and for Ana silence is very rare. Glimpses. Glimpses of what had happened. I recall running down my parents front yard, jumping on their front porch and reaching my hand toward the door, swinging it open – small details like that for some reason have stuck with me. Seeing them casually sitting down, eating dinner and their faces slowly shifting from contentment to a pale shade of disbelief as I explained why I was there – all of a sudden.
There are also the positive moments, lots actually. But still I find that something has changed. Things are clearer now. Big things matter, little things – not so much (However, I still believe that it’s the little things that make all the difference).
Max has been doing so well during this whole ordeal we are so proud of him. He is constantly on my mind day and night – his cute smile lodged in my brain both as is was and as it is now – somewhat discolored, blotchy, and covered in antibiotic goo. He’s a trooper.
Yesterday was a bit different than most days however. Max has caught cabin fever – and a bit of realization of the consequences of what has happened. Relegated to the indoors, he is no longer able to pursue outdoor activities for some time. Wall-ball against the garage door after school is out, as is tooling around in the alley on his bike. Outdoor recess is out. No more soccer practice, playing games on the weekend or watching his sister score some goals (she got one this past weekend – I wish I was there to see it and so does Max). Hiking, mountain biking, riding bikes, walking down to Nancy P’s for a morning cinnamon bun and bottle of OJ – all on hold. Snowboarding is looking unlikely too – at least for this season. But we will know for sure what the extent of his outdoor access will be tomorrow – when we head back to the Oregon Burn Center in Portland.
Max showed signs of frustration yesterday. To me, it was a good sign. A sign that Max may be entering into another phase of his healing process.
Max had come to the realization that he was confined, and for a 10 year old boy that’s got to be tough. I know it was serious when he told me he was getting bored of video games – that has never happened. The mention of him having to start homework sent him over the edge though.
Not once the whole time in the hospital did he show signs of frustration or even anger about what had happened (he was mostly ticked off at the machines he was hooked up to). Maybe a few instances when we were changing his dressings – but not really. From what I understood this was genuinely Max being bummed out. And for the first time since this all started it was about what had happened.
What made it a reality to him was his inability to go outside. Not his burns. Which are healing so fast it’s truly amazing to see – I’ve done my best to keep a running log of his progress for all to see and have actually switched from camera phone to camera for some more detail. But his burns were the reason he was relegated to staring at the window shades. Once the burns have completely healed we can start putting on some SPF 1000, sun shades, wide brimmed hat, and long sleeved shirt to protect him from the serious UVs we get here in Central Oregon -he’s ready.
Laurie was able to step out for an hour or so yesterday to get in some yoda thanks to our friend Carol (‘Bober’ as Ana calls her – and we call her that too, it’s just more fun) dropping by and hanging out with Max. I’ve pretty much turned into a slug since this has happened and need to get back in gear and hit the trails again. This weekend for sure!
Today was good for Max, a good day for sure. We built some Legos in the morning before I left and talked about what the day had in store for each of us. I returned early today to hang out with him while Laurie cruised out to see Ana’s soccer practice, which ended up being canceled. But the cool thing was Ana hooked up with another team that didn’t cancel so she got to play anyways. So great. Max’s friend Caleb stopped by too – Caleb had made a couple of cool duct tape bracelets for Max and sent them to Max while he was in the hospital – he put them on as soon as he got them and has only taken them off when hoping in the shower – Caleb told him he didn’t have to take them off at all, they were shower proof. Max was stoked.
Dinner was great – our friends and neighbors Jeff and Kristi came over earlier to drop off some yummy mac & cheese, garlic bread, and steamed broccoli. It was tasty. Thanks guys!
The VP debate was somewhat lackluster – but I loved the fact that Palin said ‘Joe six pack’ that was hilarious – I think I saw that dude when I was Alaska two years ago.
Getting ready to call it a night. Portland roadtrip first thing tomorrow. Max is kind of nervous about seeing the doctor, not so much about seeing the doctor, but more so about possibly needing to have surgery on his arm, he really doesn’t like tubes and needles being put in him. We’ll know more tomorrow. :^)
See Max’s progress here.